we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Randomize
