So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
