toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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