Sponge bath it is.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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