Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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