this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
