kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
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