Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
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