i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
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