drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
