tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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