What tipped you off? The sombrero?
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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