I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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