Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
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