Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
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