She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
not ubering you a puppy
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
