I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Randomize
