and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
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