I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
