Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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