Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize