I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
