I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Randomize
