ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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