i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
