Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
I cut my penus on the lid.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
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