it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
