Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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