so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Walk of Shame today included voting.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
