so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
