Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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