Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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