I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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