thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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