no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
