Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Randomize
