They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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