Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
Randomize
