i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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