The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
