it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
