Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I still have a little drunk in my system
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
