oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
