Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
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