You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
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