But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Randomize
