Walk of Shame. In a state park.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
