so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
