saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
it hurts more in the daytime
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Randomize
