they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Randomize
