woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
last night I used snow as a chaser
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize
