We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Success! We fucked roommates!
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
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