i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
