Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize