I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
