Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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