so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize
