Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I'm way too hungover for life right now
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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