We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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