that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
he wants to bone in the snuggie
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
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I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
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