your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
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