i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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